Envy is local! While there is a generalized type of envy – toward others with fame and fortune- research supports the common sense observation that most of us actually feel more envious of those whose lifestyles are much like ours. In other words, envy operates within a zone of proximity. We tend to envy those who are doing slightly better than we are. This is the old Keeping Up with the Jones’ phenomenon. This means that friends, colleagues and, yes, even family are often the ones we get into an envious thing with. Or they get into one with us. This seems to be the usual course with our green-eyed friend.
About Spoiling!
The ways we think, feel and act to take the other guy down a peg are too numerous to mention. This activity is called spoiling because the aim is to harm what is good in the other person. You can do this silently (in your mind), or take it into real action.
Envy can be intense. If it’s out of control, we can do real damage. Remember the tale of Cinderella.
What have you done when your envy has gotten out of hand? Let’s all take as much time as we need to answer this one!
THE GOOD NEWS
Envy can be transformed!
When we feel admiration, emulation or friendly competition we are transforming envy into a pleasurable response that enriches us. Admiration refers to a wondrous reaction to someone we want to be like. Emulation is the feeling of being inspired by one’s rival to raise one’s own standards. One hopes that successful athletes feel emulation as opposed to envy.
Who has inspired you lately?
Who looks up to you?
Can you notice the difference inside you when you admire someone or compete with them in a friendly way?
How would you describe this experience?
How does it differ from envy?
